The Joke’s on Me

jokeonmeToday is Tuesday, April 30, 2013.

OK, I get it.  The joke’s on me.  This whole month has been one long April Fool’s joke.  Especially the weather.

Late last week my skin was dry and the itching was tormenting me.  I was starting to run out of lotion in the big bottle I’d bought, so I grabbed one of the many little travel-size bottles of lotion that I keep for travel… and emergencies like running out of lotion late at night when your skin is itching.  I thought the lotion felt a little thick and sticky, but it seemed OK and did the trick. I used it a couple of different nights. On Saturday morning, I was cleaning my bedroom and picked up the little bottle and looked at it closely.  It said: BODY WASH.  Aaugh!

The joke was on me.

*** *** *** *** ***

Winter has stayed with us much, much too long, and spring is so late in coming this year.  We were having a blizzard and ice storm only a week ago, but the last few days have been pretty warm, and I’ve enjoyed getting outdoors without having to put on a coat.  In fact, my air conditioner went on the other evening suddenly, scaring the daylights out of me.

The other day I noticed that someone had planted some beautiful, colorful flowers in our planter.  Last night while waiting to fall asleep, I started thinking about the flowers, and wondering whether to try covering them up tomorrow night, when the temperature goes back down to freezing.  They looked so healthy, so colorful, almost too good to be true.  Especially when I haven’t seen any other flowers around outdoors, anywhere.  It would be a shame if they froze, I thought.    Today when I got home from my water exercise class, I looked at the flowers more closely.  Oh, sure enough, they were too good to be true.  They were fake flowers.   Guess I won’t have to cover them up, after all.

The joke is on me.

*** *** *** *** ***

Today in the mail I got some things I ordered a week or so ago, with my mind on the warm weather I thought was sure to come soon.  Today I got them: two pairs of shorts.  The last couple of days have been hot.  Today was a high of 67˚F.  Not hot, but not cold, either.  But tomorrow  – now that I have some shorts to wear – the temperature will plummet to 38˚F, and we have a chance of snow, and even some accumulation.

The joke is on me.

*** *** *** *** ***

A few days ago I also received a new swimming suit that I’d ordered.  I’ve been looking for this particular style for a while, now.  It has a high neck.  High-neck suits are few and far between, but must more forgiving for those of us who have had our breasts mangled by cancer surgery.  My favorite color, too: turquoise.  And the price was right.  My old suit, which I have worn a lot lately to water exercise, seemed to be getting a bit loose on me, and I have lost about 20 pounds since last summer, so I decided that it must be time for a smaller suit.  I checked the size of my current suit, and ordered one size smaller.  That makes sense to you, right?  Please… tell me that makes all kinds of sense to you!

But when I tried on the suit today, I could barely get it on.  I decided not to wear it, after all, but just to save it for when I lose a little more weight.  But I don’t get it.  If my old suit is getting too big, and I order one size down… shouldn’t the smaller suit fit?

I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone.  And the joke is on meeeeeeeee…..

I think I’m gonna need some cookies. :-/


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