Albert Einstein once said, “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” Most of the time we do keep moving, but every once in a while, something out-of-the-ordinary happens that just stops us in our tracks. They say that the first thing we have to do is realize and admit to ourselves that whatever the situation was before, it’s over. Looking back and rehashing it won’t get us anywhere.
Moving on after stopping doesn’t happen automatically. We have to make a conscious decision to move on, and this is often a frightening thing to do, because we can’t always see around the bend in the road and we have no idea what’s coming next. And whatever it was that just happened to us hurt, dammit! We don’t want to be hurt again.
Sometimes moving on means leaving something or someone behind, and we can’t see how the void in our lives is going to be filled. It’s true, what they say, though: nature abhors a vacuum. Something – or someone – will eventually fill the void. The key is that there must be a space to fill. If you keep filling it yourself by clinging to the past, you won’t have any room for anything new to come into your life.
Sometimes it means starting from the beginning all over again, and we may feel that all the time and effort we spent on the old situation was a waste of time. This is when a change of attitude helps, because if we remind ourselves that no experience goes to waste if we can learn something from it, then whatever happened in the past retains its meaning and value. Maybe our efforts lacked in one particular area. Maybe we just didn’t persist long enough. Maybe we were working toward the wrong goal, after all. Maybe we have just grown out of the old situation and are ready for a different one.
Accepting what happened doesn’t mean being a doormat. It means realizing that the situation has changed, and we must change with it. It means realizing that situations don’t happen to you; they happen for you. It’s your choice whether to learn something from the situation, but doesn’t that sound more productive than just feeling sorry for yourself?
“Sometimes life knocks you on your ass… get up, get up, get up!!! Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.” – Steve Maraboli
“Girls you’ve gotta know when it’s time to turn the page.” – Tori Amos
“Life moves on and so should we.” – Spencer Johnson