What’s cluttering up your life?
Clutter is not just physical stuff. It’s old ideas, toxic relationships, and bad habits. Clutter is anything that does not support your better self. –Eleanor Brownn
Under “old ideas,” I would include old opinions, beliefs, and self-talk. Look at your opinions about money, politics, the government, religion, God, marriage, and relationships in general. (I make a distinction, here, between opinions, which are something that you express to other people, and beliefs, which you generally keep to yourself, but which form the basis for your words and actions. Your opinions are always conscious; your beliefs are mostly unconscious.Do any of these opinions limit yourself or others? Remember that if you impose limits on others, then you are imposing some on yourself, as well.
Look at your beliefs about your appearance, your personality, your self-worth, sex, social roles (especially the roles of husband and wife in marriage and the role of a parent), the relationship between human beings and God. Look at your beliefs about the purpose of life, who you really are, why you’re alive on earth now, and what happens after your body dies. This is a little harder, because these things are normally buried deep inside. You may have to pose a question to yourself (Example: Am I a good person? What is an ideal wife? What is a person’s relationship to God?), then answer it using your typical behavior up to the present time. Let’s say you ask, “Am I a good person?” List some responses that you get from others that might indicate the answer. Then list some ways you treat yourself. If these actual behaviors don’t match your initial assessment of yourself, you have to ask yourself why. If you think you’re an OK person, but you keep putting yourself down, for example, there’s got to be some part of you that actually thinks you’re not OK.
To the list of things that clutter your life, I would also add song lyrics and books that don’t describe the way you want your life to be. What kinds of songs do you listen to? Are the lyrics uplifting or are they ones where the person pines for a lost love or says that the other person makes the singer happy (as if he can’t be happy on his own). How many of the lyrics are angry ones? How many lyrics put other people down? And what about books and videos? Do you read books or watch videos about people killing each other? Do you read about people hurting each other or getting revenge? These things, small as they may seem, can have a powerful effect on you, subconsciously.
Under “toxic relationships,” I would include old ways to reacting to certain people in your life, because that puts the focus on you, rather than on the other person, since, obviously, you can’t change the other person, so you might as well change yourself. You can’t always root out all the toxic people in your life, but you can change some of your own toxic behaviors. For example, do you hide rather than defend yourself? Or do you defend yourself out of fear, rather than out of a sense of what’s right? Do you refuse to listen to certain people because you’ve heard it all before? If so, these are things you can change.
You can release emotions, too. Anger, worry, sadness, loneliness, fear, bitterness, and guilt. If these feelings are holding you back, if they are keeping you from moving forward, then they need to go. Sure, you felt them, you acknowledged them. Now move on. Can you change any of the situations that caused these feelings? If so, then do it. If not, let it go. Find ways to do better next time so that the outcome of the situation will be more acceptable. Remember that you are the one who chooses to feel these feelings, regardless of the situation. Make a different choice next time.
De-cluttering your inner self is not something you can do all in one sitting. It will take time. One thing you can do to kick-start the process, give it focus, and perhaps even speed it up some is to do visualizations, which can be very powerful agents of change on the subconscious level. Visualize yourself cleaning up an old, abandoned house. Throw out all the old furniture. Re-do the floors and repaint the walls. Clean the windows and install better lighting. You can ask for some help on the Inner to do this from your spiritual guide or some angels. Do this visualization many times, not just once. Focus on how good you feel once you have cleaned up the place. That is how you want to feel when you have de-cluttered your life. 🙂