When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it; all else is madness. –Eckhart Tolle
One of the hallmarks, they say, of a spiritually mature person is that they don’t complain about things. Some people think that means being a Goody-Two-Shoes or being in denial about reality. But this quote is a great way of explaining the mindset of a spiritually mature person on the subject. Basically, there are no victims. Everything happens for a reason, and as Soul, we all signed up to be here. We signed up to learn humility, patience, fortitude, loving kindness, and compassion, among other things.
Those situations that are uncomfortable for us are ones that force us to become better persons as we work to accomplish goals, meet deadlines, and solve problems. If a situation is intolerable, we always have a choice. We can see it through to the end, if we think we can better the situation. Or we can leave it. Or we can accept it, knowing that just getting through it somehow will benefit us in some way.
Sure, we can complain, but what good does that ever really do? Complaining certainly never solves the problem. Sometimes it even makes the problem worse. It puts us in a negative frame of mind. A victim doesn’t take any responsibility. Rather, a victim simply puts the responsibility for something bad onto someone else, making it that person’s job to change the situation or make it right.
The only person who can change your situation is you. Avoiding this responsibility by complaining is counterproductive. It focuses on the problem and not on the solution. That’s why spiritually mature people try not to complain – at all, if possible. It’s one of those things that we all have to learn, and it can’t be done all in one go.
The next time you find yourself complaining, stop yourself and try to find some positive aspect of the situation. Move your focus off the problem and onto the solution. And make sure that the solution involves you, and not just other people. If you do this often enough, you will get the hang of not complaining, and other people will be attracted to your positive mindset.
Go on, give it a try! 🙂